Day 10- Running Running Running..

i use to always run outside in my neighborhood... and i was addicted but then my anxiety kicked and i swore i was gonna get stolen so i talked myself out of it ... bad plan! haha
i have a gym membership and i like it for the convenience but theres nothing compared to running in the fresh air... its such a better run! harder but better haha .... i drank a red gatorade before i left so i could get my blood sugar up a little (its a diabetes thing lol) and while i was running i would spit out mucus i was coughing up (no biggie happens all the time) but this time because of the gatorade... i was spitting what looked like blood haha .... i think i scared some people but i guess no one cared enough to actually stop and ask just stare at me... so thank you random bystanders who gave me amusement you made my coughing run so much better haha <3

Day 9- Open Gym

all i need to say is Open Gym and the people who feel the same joy i do on this night know where im going with this and i don't need to write anymore cuz mainly i don't wanna call out things im not ready to end yet haha

Day 8- Sister time

lets make this quick and simple...
- yummy food
- compfy sweats
- new episode of teen mom
- the bestest sister friend around
pretty much sums up the calmest- needed kinda joy...
<3

i swear we love each other haha

Day 7- thank you for the tip

so i just recently got a job at a drive thru coffee place by my house... if you know me at all then you would know that i use to absolutely hate coffee if grossed me out! but a couple months back i just got a craving to try it so i did and soon after i was hooked... it gives my the feeling my adhd medicine does without making me feel like im on drugs haha anyways.... this job is super chill yet stressful because its all about speed and making drinks perfectly but im trying non the less haha .... well yesterday (yes im writing this a day late ) i was working the register and a regular customer came through ... he ordered his drink and gave me his punch card and money i rang him up and then realized he had a free drink because he had enough punches.... so i sheepishly apologized and told him he could save it and use it next time but he said "nope i wanna use it now" then i got confused because he handed me $5 ... so i did what i needed to do to get his money back and when i went to hand it back his face was bright red and like usual i was confused so i tried to give him his money back but he said " no that is for you" i still didn't really get it haha because i never pick up on these sort of things so i confussingly put the money in my tip jar and in that moment all made sense and i was now embarrassed.... this young marine was trying to be sweet and sly and smooth and i killed ever ounce of game he was trying to play i didn't know what to say except "ahhh im sorry you where trying to be nice and i just killed it i apologize" my boss on the other hand was crying from laughter and i was all tongue tied... lesson learned for sure haha anyways it made me laugh and the people around me def. laughed and that is JOY right you don't wanna keep it to yourself you wanna share it and infect everyone around you with it... mission accomplished ha!
FUN TIMES AT BLACK ROCK <3

Day 6- Autism= an un-common joy

so superbowl day before the game actually started i was over at my sisters house her husband was on his way home from a week long trip for work and she was def. at her wits end! so while she gave herself a time-out i decided to have some aunty time with my munchkins..... nothing too crazy because i was so tired so we just went out front and attempted to ride scooters but neither boy was really feeling it they actually just wanted to sit with me in the drive-way.... my nolan ocean is autistic and its beautifully challenging! i praise god daily for his parents and the AMAZING job they do with him because its def. not an easy one. but i can't imagine that boy any other way he is so unique and independent and lovey and snuggly and strong and smart and focussed and handsome and i could just kiss his cheeks all day.... his language comes and goes as he chooses and sunday was no exception he didn't feel like talking so he didn't instead there was so much laughter and un-distinguishable noises coming out of his mouth ... its such a peak into his little brain and i could watch for hours.... he was loving his aunty that day and gave me kiss after kiss after hug ... seeing this boy live in his own world that he allows a select few to enter is so intriguing to me he doesn't know social norms or how things "should" be he is 7 and does what he feels and thinks at any given moment without fearing the consequences for himself or others.... sometimes i envy him everyone thinks things they wish they had the guts to say or do ... and my ocean cooley just does it.... somedays when i let my mind run i wonder what the world would be like if people where actually transparent EVERYONE what you saw is what you got.... i wonder how we would function. does my baby have challenges DAILY is he aware of them not likely he knows what he knows and shares what he feels he needs to share and that is it nothing more or less... his smile could make any person forget any sorrow they have for only a moment and it turned out i needed his smile more then ever that day.... he is definitely my angel that i thank god for every time he says "hello aunty"

Day 5- NInja warriors....

so i am like 2 or 3 days late but i have been so so tired so lets just pretend im actually writing this on the real day haha cuz the events really happend....
Anyways... saturday mornings i coach gymnastics.... every once in awhile it is fun to get just a little crazy and break out of your shell because it usually ends up making your classes ALOT more fun and the kids really enjoy it.  which really... happy kids= happy parents = you as a coach doing your job ...( so this actually started thurs. night but we did it also on sat.) one of the girls i work with had three (what we made them) headbands... that her , her brother and i all tied around our heads like ninja bands from teenage mutant ninja turtles and wore them the whole time we worked.... at first i suppose there was confused looks and what not but when we busted out our sweet karate moves and joked with the kids everyone was on board. its so fun to get outside of yourself to make a 3yr old girl who the week before tried to hit you and scream bwcause she HATED your class... yet this week she doesn't want to leave you and when she finally does you get a slobbery kiss on the cheek.... that is TRUE JOY! .... yea we looked retarded and there was a moment when i forgot i had it on and went into public ... but the kids at the gym thought it was funny so mission accomplished .... who knew a silly purple headband could stir up so much laughter... it was perfect <3
even our boss loved it and had a little photo shoot for the website haha

*the above picture is (left to right) amanda, michael, me doing our sweet ninja moves haha

Day 4 - your our "pretty much" cousin

so todays joy time came from people who make me smile from the inside out... i'll give a little background... their my hawaiian sisters: cousin's, aunty, uncle, and tutu (grandma) .... but I'm their "pretty much" cousin ha ha their also related to my ex boyfriend but thats another story... this family is ever so welcoming to me and never makes me feel like a guest sometimes unfortunately ha ha  joking! when alesi and i got close naturally i would go over and hangout... then i started dating one of tutu's grandkids so even more naturally i went over to give her updates on his life ect. ... but then like lots of things we ended and one of my greatest sadness's from it was the fear that this family wouldn't love me the same WRONG! they loved me before and they loved me after... hours pass when were hanging out and it seems like minutes whether were all watching our fav. movie Despicable Me or playing games or playing music or clowning on usually ME ... its to relaxing and comforting ... its a treat for me to go over there and i thank my sis every time because her family feels more at home to me then some of my own...
I love that family isn't solely based on blood... but instead love and community! that's how i have always been raised and because of that i have more siblings then my mother gave birth too... but i love them all exactly the same. Family is so important having that net of people to hold you and love on you and keep you in check...

Even though i am only in day 4 of this challenge to myself i am noticing a semi change-ish nothing drastic but im starting to notice the definite little things in life that actually make me smile from the inside out (JOY) like tonight when i beat a 5th grader at speed 9 out of 10 times and was really proud about it .... or when i got a big bear tutu hug and kiss before i left to my house those little things that sometimes we move to fast to take to heart that really do make you JOYFUL
thank you lord for these moments
<3

this is chynna fa' the little lady with a big middle name ... love you mamas <3